


A mother’s love

by Lemonbars



Series: Adventures in Chaldea [3]
Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:41:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27642274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemonbars/pseuds/Lemonbars
Summary: “My mother was not a very good person.” Ritsuka says, gnawing her lip. She takes the cup in her hands and smiles bitterly.There’s an unspoken truth behind her words, one Raikou doesn’t dare ask. For once she finally understands what Ritsuka is trying to say.Because no matter how hard you try, some scars never heal.
Relationships: Fujimaru Ritsuka/Minamoto no Raikou | Berserker
Series: Adventures in Chaldea [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951105
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

“You want to know what my mother was like?”

“Yes, “ Raikou nods. “If that is alright with you. You don’t have to share anything you don’t want.”

Ritsuka sighs, before shaking her head. She puts her cup down on the table. “No… it's fine. But… I don’t think it’s not a story you want to hear.”

“You can trust me, master.” 

Ritsuka chuckles, dryly. “Suit yourself.” She downed the last of her drink and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “My mother, huh?” 

Raikou could see it was an obvious touchy subject for her, & while she didn’t want to make her master uncomfortable she was also curious. 

“My mother… was not a very good person.” Ritsuka says, gnawing at her lip. She takes the cup in her hands and smiles bitterly. She thought she was over it but talking about it just brought back bad memories.

It always did. 

She rubs the back of her head, trying to quell the headache in her temples before deciding to rest her hands on her lap. 

“My mother was the type of person who screamed a lot. She never apologizes for her actions and as you can imagine I was most often the target for her outbursts,” Ritsuka laments, clenching her fists. “Everything she touches- she destroys.” Ritsuka swallows, licking her lips.

**_“You’re just like your-. Why can’t you do anything right. Stop frowning, you look like a dog,” her mother’s voice says._ **

**_Ritsuka glares back, biting her lip and steps forward. She takes a second to look her mother up and down. “And you’re nothing but a vindictive bitch. It’s no wonder you’re miserable.”_ **

**_“Just like you, kiddo.”_ **

**_The blood rushes to her eyes and then- her hands are glued to the glass bottle, swinging it down on-_ **

**_All she sees is red, red everywhere. On her hands, in her-_ **

**_and she smiles._ **

She doesn’t look Raikou in the eye. Too full of shame- like her mother said she was.

“Do you hate your mother?”

Ritsuka laughs again, rolling her fingers back and forth. She gives a small nod, “I’ve always have,” she confesses. Ever since she was a child, Ritsuka had wondered what was wrong with her mother, the woman had been nothing but a nightmare. A monster, a demon far worse than the enemies she faced. She plays with her mug, tossing it back and forth to distract herself.

Raikou tried to hold her hand but Ritsuka flinches and pulls her hand back.

“Sorry, I don’t like getting touched.”

Raikou nods, in understanding.

“Sometimes I wish she were dead, you know.” And then a whisper, “Life would be so much easier that way.”

It’s then that Raikou realizes what her master means; as a mother herself she could never fathom laying a hand on her children much less Kintoki. 

Ritsuka is struggling like the rest of the wounded children and Raikou’s heart aches.

The scene breaks her heart.

She sees the hurt in her master's eyes, as clear as day. Raikou desperately wanted to reach out and hug her but her heart dropped when the young woman flinched right as she was about to hold her.

Raikou wasn’t a fool. 

That kind of reaction she had seen countless times from injured children to wounded wife’s.

For once she finally understands what Ritsuka is trying to say.

Forgiveness wasn’t on the table, the layers of hurt she had endured over the years couldn’t be swept under the rug that easily.

All Raikou could do was listen and be there for her.

Because no matter how hard you try, some scars never heal.

“I wish she was dead,” Ritsuka whispers again, her voice shaking. A tear rolls down her cheek, as she continues. “It’s not fair that everyone else gets a happy family while I’m stuck with her… it’s just not fucking fair.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Ritsuka hisses, her voice breaking. Her hand wraps around the mug, “all I ever wanted was a normal family. A normal life,” she says.

Raikou remains silent.

“I just want to be happy, for once in my life.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this during NEw years lmao. Started during Christmas event last week but I didn’t grind a lot. Fml

With the Christmas lottery event finally over, everyone was ecstatic. Ritsuka had suggested a week-long break until the next event rolled around.

They were finally out of QP hell except for the remaining 59 million QP was in her hands. Plans to level up NP5 Gilgamesh's third skill were put on hold until they had enough dust again.

So much dust... 

And In the blink of an eye, New Years arrived.

However as the event came, Ritsuka was unable to meet the requirements for the event; finishing lost belt 3. She only realized that a week later after the Christmas lotto ended.

Bummer.

She felt a little relieved not having to grind two events at the same time, with multiple servants but it was still a waste of good farming materials.

Everyone was practically walking on eggshells around Ritsuka who was beating herself up for ruining the event. No one blamed her, but they saw how much it hurt her. She had willingly shut herself in her room all day, refusing to come out until the New Year's event was over.

“Master?” Raikou knocked on the door. The door opened with a hiss and she strolled right in. A familiar shade of hair moved in the corner of her vision. “Ah, there you are! I was looking for you!”

“What do you want?” Ritsuka splat, burrowing underneath the sheets.

“Is there anything you’d like to get for Christmas?”

Ritsuka raised an eyebrow, “Christmas ended a while ago, Raikou.”

“Not for me it hasn't.”

“What are you talking about? Actually, never mind.” Get me anything.”

“Anything?”

“Yeah, anything. I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a stupid present.”

“But don’t you like presents?”

Ritsuka gives it a thought before pointing her finger at the woman. “Then, I want you,” she says. “I don’t need gifts. I just want to spend time with you.”

“If that’s what you want.” Raikou lowers her gaze to her masters level. “What do you want to do? You can’t stay inside all day.”

“I don’t know,” Ritsuka grabs the covers, pulling them up her body. “Staying inside doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“That’s not healthy-“

“Enough!” Ritsuka shouts.” I get it okay? God you’re so annoying.”

A wave of silence follows.

“I’m sorry. That was-“ Ritsuka catches herself, shaking her head. She looks at the floor, frowning.

“It’s fine.”

“Maybe this was a mistake,” Ritsuka says, not bothering to hide her thoughts any longer. She lets the covers fall to the side, and continues. “this whole relationship. What was I thinking? Getting into a relationship with a servant much less…”

Raikou tries to hold her hand but that only causes her to flinch. Ritsuka laughs hysterically. She rises up and sits on the edge. “I never told you about my father did I?”

“No you haven’t.”

“Good. That man was a sorry excuse of a father.” Ritsuka reliterstes. “He-Some people really shouldn’t be parents. That’s all I’m going to say. But y'know,” Ritsuka shrugs, brushing her hair back. “Maybe, I deserve it. It’s no surprise I turned out the way I did.”

“It’s almost new year,” Raikou points out, holding out her hand. “Let's spend some time together before you leave.”

“Fine, just this once.” Ritsuka says and takes her hand.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Since the source material in fgo never talks about the gudas backstory I’m going off with my own that-their past or whatever wasn’t very good and escaping to Chaldea was a life saver.


End file.
